Boobs

Since my boobs are currently trying to kill me, I thought I'd share some thoughts on our health. See the ever-helpful WebMD LINK for reference. I'll quote the useful bits... though their usefulness remains to be seen. Perhaps a bit of primrose oil tonight... But I'll be goddamned if I'm going to go without my newly developed caffeine love - I have to study tonight, you know!!

1. Say goodbye to coffee and other caffeinated beverages after you ovulate at mid-cycle (for most women, this is around the 14th day of their cycle). Caffeine tends to increase both swelling of the breasts and water retention.

2. Consider taking a multivitamin and calcium daily. The jury's still out on whether certain vitamins and minerals can really help with PMS symptoms -- a study published in the February 2000 Journal of the American College of Nutrition was lukewarm on the true effectiveness of vitamin E, vitamin B-6, and calcium. But some intriguing research suggests that these nutrients may help remove water from the body and alleviate swelling in the breasts.

3. Consider evening primrose oil supplements. Again, there are no well-controlled studies to confirm that this supplement works, but some women seem to find relief with primrose oil's anti-inflammatory properties.

4. Try an over-the-counter medication, such as Pamprin or Midol, that treats the symptoms of PMS. These medicines contain pain relievers and natural diuretics, which can alleviate discomfort.

5. If nighttime is especially uncomfortable, try sleeping on your back to protect your breasts from the painful compression you might feel when sleeping on your side or front.

Did you know that cholesterol is actually a steroid, and is directly involved in sythesizing hormones? So does that mean that when I eat like shit, my hormones go more wacky and hurt me? I have a bad feeling about that. Happily, they let me drink a bit this weekend. I am determined that I will not fall to the PMS demons, dammit. I will NOT have cramps and heavy cycles, because I WILL use the BC method of my choice!

Ah, what is that, you ask? Because I know you want to know, here's some interesting information on Copper IUD's. You may read this and wonder why the hell would I want that for, and you're not all wrong... but for those screwing others they can trust (really single partner sort of thing), non-condom/non-hormonal BC is totally the way to go. Everybody's doing it, man. (oops, that should probably be WOman. :))

The next question you might have is... what do I have against hormones and condoms? Well, Alex, my hormones have been screwing me altogether, to the best of my understanding. I'd like to be the one doing the screwing in my body, thank you very much. And I'd like to go longer than a week without a migraine. And condoms? C'mon, there have got to be SOME benefits to being married! Sheesh! If I feel that way about condoms, just guess how I feel about icky things like sponges or cervical caps. Yuck, yuck, ick, and ew. So I'm clearing out my system of all the excess crap, and so far, so good. Of course, it's been less than a month. But I'll take it!

Well, it's time to placate the boobs. Since I don't think ice packs in my bra will go unnoticed, I'm going to try to go home as soon as possible. :)
May we all be healthier than we hoped!